The best way to bring down your wedding spending is by having fewer guests. How do you tell people they’re not invited, though? Here’s where wedding etiquette definitely comes into play. Do not be an asshole (even if they deserve it!). Do I really need to repeat myself? You’ve been there. Someone threw a birthday party when you were thirteen and invited everyone in your class–except you. If you were never that person, then watch Can’t Buy Me Love or Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion and you’ll totally understand the principle.

People are going to get upset about your wedding. They are also going to be so mad when they find out they aren’t invited. You gotta let em’ down gently. As if they are a wee butterfly with wings that are so delicate you might smash them by accident, rendering them flightless forever.

Be Super Sweet

If there is anything I have learned in my life thus far, it’s that you get more bees with honey. That’s what my Mamma always said. So, be super cute and no one will be able to resist your charm, even when you’re literally having to say “I’m super sorry, it would be awesome to have you, but I’m not able to invite more than the close family we have coming.”

Be Blunt

Don’t dance around the issue, because you’ll eventually go mad and just blurt out the truth which could be “I don’t want you there.” Blame it on the budget. Blame it on the venue space. Hell, blame it on your family. Just be blunt about it and the subject will be dropped. At least, etiquette dictates that they don’t bring it up.  If they keep harping on it – or worse, try to guilt you into inviting them – just say “Sorry, but that’s how it is” and don’t answer any more of their wedding-related texts or emails.

Have A Response Writing Sesh

If you really don’t know what to say, sit down with your partner in crime and write down every way you can respond to someone asking why they aren’t invited to your wedding. From the most serious answer to the most hilarious, just write it all out. Don’t be afraid to grab a bottle of wine and get the Cards of Humanity answer box out if you’re feeling uninspired. Jot down your favourites and memorize them for one killer, witty response to your closed wedding.

Send A Non-Invite

Do not waste money on paper invites for those who aren’t invited. This is where your super cute skills can really come into play. Come up with a cute, non-abrasive way to tell the people you aren’t inviting that they are indeed not invited. You don’t have to get all elaborate, but something fun and outrageous to say, “We love you but you’re out of our league. Basically, our budget is really small so we can’t have you at the big day–but cocktails at (your favorite bar or restaurant here) next week and you can toast us on the cheap!”

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