We all have that one friend…


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While you might see this as absolutely inconsiderate, it’s not all that uncommon these days. The horrible thing is: it will be the one person you think is least likely to say ‘no’ – like, your Grandma. So what do you do when Grandma says she’s not coming to your big day because she has to “dog sit for friends”!? Below are some great ways to help people you love get on the R.S.V.P. bandwagon and watch you tie the knot!

Don’t get to the point where you think, “If that is the way he or she feels, then I guess that is it.” First, you don’t need to say anything. Second, if you do feel like you need to say something, here’s what to do:

Give Them Plenty of Warning Time

Send out your “Save the Dates” a little bit early. If you have a family member or friend that is growing overly distant or is always on the go in their busy lifestyle–those are the people to pitch early invites to! If you have friends and family traveling from abroad, those people need your wedding date as soon as possible! They will need to book flights, get accommodation and make other travel arrangements. So, don’t just think because you send an invite out six weeks before the big day that they are going to hop the pond to show up.

Wedding Website

Your second ally in your line of “no RSVP” defense is a wedding website. Don’t let people give some “I forgot to mail it back” excuse. Unless they are elderly and don’t have the internet like my 93-year-old Grandpa, you can be they will RSVP to your swanky, shiny website that has fancy Google maps and links to hotels and such. You don’t even have to drop extra cash on these pretty bells and whistles either. There are plenty of free websites to help you organize your RSVP’s with your seating charts too! Check out:

When You Just Can’t Get Over It

If it’s a family member, enlist an ally like your Mom or Aunt to say something in private about how hurt you will be if the person doesn’t come. Perhaps it’s your grandma that doesn’t plan to come to your wedding because she has to dog sit. If it’s a friend doing something that you think could be put off or hurts your feelings, get your Maid of Honor or a Bridesmaid to make a nonchalant suggestion that your wedding is a once in a lifetime event. Make sure they’re good with mentioning that you’d be totally upset if they didn’t come.

If that person comes, be sure to have a private moment with them. Maybe they didn’t think they would feel special. So be sure make some memories with that person on your big day. If they don’t come, you have no control over the actions of others. “Let it go, and be happy.” You’re getting married!

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